“But I’m so much more sociable after a few beers!”
This is the response I usually get when I advise students to try and go out into the field without drinking. We have a big drinking culture in the UK, and before I discovered the game I was as guilty as anyone of going out and drinking way too much. I misguidedly thought that alcohol would improve my social skills and give me a better chance of meeting girls. Guess what? I didn’t get laid! Thankfully I now think differently.
Here’s what an average night out involved for me before the game:
Before going out I’d drink heavily with my friends, and we would usually be pretty drunk before even leaving the house. Once out at the bar or club we would all drink even more, and then I would eventually pluck up enough courage to approach a girl. My memory of these interactions is pretty hazy, but unsurprisingly I almost always went home alone. If I did ‘get lucky’, it would usually be with someone very regrettable, and I would feel terrible the next day. And this was my idea of having fun.
In 2005 I read a book called The Game, which I’m sure most of you will have heard of. A few months later I went on a seduction bootcamp, which set me on a path of social improvement which would dramatically alter my way of socialising, and ultimately my life. On the bootcamp they suggested that we went out without drinking.
‘Woah Nelly!’ I thought to myself. ‘Going out to bars and clubs, without drinking heavily? What are these people thinking? Everyone knows that alcohol improves your ability to socialise surely?’
Sceptical as I was I went out without drinking and had one of the best nights out I’ve ever had. I felt a new sense of control and social ability as I buzzed around the room, casually opening sets rather than staggering into them, and having good conversations with people without drunkenly shouting into their face. Most of the things one learns in The Game are learned gradually, and take a while to sink in, but in this instance I learned overnight that I didn’t need alcohol to improve my social skills, and in fact, all those years alcohol had been making my game a whole lot worse.
I didn’t stop drinking altogether but I stopped drinking before I went out, and drank bottles instead of pints of beer. I also tried to delay the time I had my first drink until later in the night, and nowadays I usually have my first drink at about 11pm, rather than 6pm.
Without having my reactions, conversational skills and general abilities of observation severely impaired by alcohol I was free to fully analyse the social interaction that I was trying to improve upon. I was able to observe and analyse how and why people interacted the way they did, critiquing other people’s behaviour as well as my own. I began to actually enjoy, rather than fear, the company of attractive women, and began to hold fun interesting, and at times, intense conversations with them, all whilst being completely sober.
When women found out that I was drinking water, far from ridiculing me as I’d feared they would do, they usually tried to qualify themselves to me, and I even began to use it as part of my game:
“Look around the bar, (kino) most people in here are getting hammered which I used to do, but now I just think it’s a bit cliché and boring. I prefer to go out and actually have interesting conversations with people that I meet.”
Follow this sentence with a deliberate pause, maybe followed with a comment about how unattractive drunk girls are, and then sit back as the girl qualifies herself to you!
Okay, so I still get drunk and make a bit of a tit of myself every now and then. I am still English after all, but those days are few and far between, and I only allow it to happen when I’m at a gathering with close friends rather than when I’m out gaming. Most of my friends still get really drunk when they go out, and most of them swear that it helps their chances with women.
When you’re drunk you have a false impression of how you come across to other people, and you will often think you’re being wittier and funnier than you are. You’re body language is more likely to be overbearing, and your breath will smell of alcohol which won’t exactly be pleasant. A good PUA will be the opposite of all the things a drunk person is and will be: Socially alert, subtle in terms of their approach and body language, their ability to make conversation will be sharp, they’ll be able to hold intense eye contact and most importantly, their standards won’t drop!
If you want to risk waking up next to an absolute hog with a pounding headache then get boozing. If you want to seriously improve your game then drop me a line and I’ll show you the benefits of going out to bars and clubs and not drinking alcohol and also how to use adultfrinendfinder. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that you’ll save a ton of money too.